Man warns City Council of possible zombie attack

Taken from The Salt Lake Tribune website:

It started as insightful and articulate, especially compared to most public-comment hokum.

Georgia transplant Wesley Wyndham-Price calmly stood before the City Council, cautioning members about downtown’s derelict emergency-preparedness plan. City elders are “insouciantly” unaware of risks to City Creek Center, he warned.

Wyndham-Price even paused to joke that Georgia’s saltwater taffy is better than Utah’s. “I hope that is not an ad hominem,” he shrugged.

Then he got specific and all reason helicoptered into the ether.

City Creek needs an emergency-preparedness plan, he demanded, against zombies.

“Zombies are fierce,” he said as a crammed council chamber laughed nervously. “They are going to catch us in there.”

Wyndham-Price admitted he never has seen a zombie attack but is sure one is coming. And shoppers could be sitting ducks in a sky bridge.

No word on whether monster man is related to campy horror-flick comedian Vincent Price. Actually, it appears the April 1 speech was a well-delivered April Fools’ joke. After all, Wesley Wyndham-Price is a fictional character created for the TV series’ “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and “Angel.”

After the performance, the Avenues resident briefly plopped in the front row next to City Creek-LDS Church straight-man Dale Bills, then bolted.

Playing along, Councilman Luke Garrott declared that he would forward the zombie recommendation to the appropriate emergency committee posthaste.

But given the surge of Mormon minions anticipated at City Creek and the church’s downtown BYU campus, Wyndham-Price clearly was off target.

He probably meant zoobies, not zombies.


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